Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
