there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize