I'd wear matching sweaters with you
id be glad to
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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