And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
People in love make me want to vomit
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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