Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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