Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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