You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize