Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
