We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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