I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize