what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
This is my gift to your gina
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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