Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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