He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
it's like heaven, but drunker
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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