I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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