I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
