I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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