I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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