I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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