I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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