3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
