OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize