You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
