i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
