im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
