we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
