so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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