One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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