Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
accomplished twins. life is a go
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize