I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
