6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize