Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Alive.
So much puke
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
