Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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