proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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