none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my shit smells like andre
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
