You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
