apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize