I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
