i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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