honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He better not be in your backpack
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
