bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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