my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
