I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
