Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize