we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
