he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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