kristin has been a bad kristin
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Naked Twister starts at high noon
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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