Got a toothbrush?
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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