Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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