How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
