The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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