Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dignity is for republicans.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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