i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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