it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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