You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
