there was a trapeze. enough said
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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