According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
