i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
