and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
