he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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