I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
