I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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