Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You made out with two different species that night
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
